Written by Deana La Rosa
Mom, CEO, Best Selling Author
👒👑🧢🎩
I have always been asked, How do you do it? How can you do it? And sometimes, WHY do you do it? One thing I have learned is time can work for us or against us. We can choose to manage it OR allow it to manage us. I have always felt the need to grow and learn constantly. As a new mom, I wanted to know what other moms were doing so I could decide what I liked and what I wanted to stay away from in order to ensure I was being the mom I intended to be. There are several aspects that I took from my own mother where great memories were formed, ones that built me up. On the other hand, there were things that I feel did not serve my self esteem well as a child, and I made the point of not repeating those behaviors. The same applies for all the bosses and managers I have had over the years. I took what I learned and implemented what I thought motivated me and helped me grow, and then I vowed to not do the things I felt held me down, took away my drive and passion, or created an emptiness at work.
To come back around to the questions, I spent many years watching, listening, and pivoting my way of life to be the best wife, mother, leader and woman. As I write this today, I know I have a lot more to learn and a lot more to grow (even after being a mom for the past 19 years!). That said, I do feel accomplished and have overcome so much and have left a positive impact on my family and my past and present team members.
A few ways that you can have it all, (I do not like the word balance when used in this format), is to know what your priorities are (family, work, etc.) and how to keep them as priorities. Schedule it, plan it and stick to it. Take your time to find what drives you, what inspires you, what the impact is that you want to make, and then the HOW will come. Then use the same principle to plan it, schedule it and stick to making progress each and every day. Try to include your family into the process to make it fun and help them understand what you do, how you do it, and why it is important.
Plan out your schedule as far in advance as possible, have it laid out for the family or create a family calendar so everyone has access to it. This will help your spouse know when you have a meeting and he/she need to pick up the kids, cook dinner, do the bedtime routine, etc. It’s best to have this written down.
Ask for all family members to share up front and in advance all sports, school or outside events so you can plan around them. NOTE: Give yourself grace when something cannot be changed. It is okay if it does not work 100% of the time. I always say, “Aim for excellence and not perfection.” Plan at least 2 weeks of uninterrupted FAMILY time each year. Plan out date nights with your spouse (YES IT IS OK TO PLAN IT AND SCHEDULE IT). Plan out one-on-one time with each of your kids to LISTEN, SHARE and just BE! If a weekly dinner is impossible due to sports, school or conflict in family schedules, plan a dinner for the next week where you are all able to be at one table together.
Ensure that you set aside time each day to work on your plan, and to work for your business. I am most efficient, productive, and fulfilled when I schedule my mornings and nights to get enough sleep, BUT work around my kids. This could mean I wake up at 4 or 5am in order to feel accomplished knowing that I pushed forward toward my work goals, and to be focused and present when my kids wake up to pour into them the attention and motherly affection they need.
Remember that when you are having that one-on-one time or that quality time home PUT AWAY YOUR PHONE... It will distract you and result in you not listening, not being present, and the family will resent it. If you can’t be present, then be honest! DON'T try and do a half-ass job.
It will be trial and error, so be open to tweeking it and talking as a family to discover what is working and what just isn’t. Don’t take feedback personally, just adjust as needed. YOU CAN DO IT ALL and HAVE THE FAMILY LIFE you deserve with a CAREER that is fulfilling and impactful.
With all of the above, DO NOT FORGET to schedule in time for YOU! ME time is key to being in the moment, at peace, and in a state of gratitude that all who surround you will see. It also keeps you healthy and happy in order to be all you are to all around you.
Life is about the journey NOT just the destination!